Submission Ephesians 5:22-23

Submission of Wives

Submission is not meekness. It is not violent. It is not accepting violence. It is not gathering wrongs into your heart as weapons. It is not destructive to your husband. It is not verbally abusive. It is not emotionally degrading. Submission doesn’t seek to demean your husband because of past trauma. Submission doesn’t seek to remake your husband into a weakling you can control. Submission doesn’t use your children to hurt your husband. Submission doesn’t have another man lined up to replace your husband. Submission is not jealous of your husband’s success. Submission doesn’t sacrifice your husband and children to gain social status. Submission does not suppress being a woman and your ability to be feminine.

Submission is lifting up so both are stronger. Submission is loving your husband even when he fails. Submission is support when the world is coming at both of you. Submission is an inner strength and resolve to create a safe space for your family. Submission deals with your trauma and accepts your husband’s trauma. Submission knows that your husband has to be strong enough to face the monsters and demons in this world so you encourage him. Submission is a comfort. Submission loves your husband enough to chase his goals while also meeting your goals. Submission builds a family that raises children who will serve God and serve others. Submission knows your husband’s success blesses the family. Submission is happy for victories for everyone in the family. Submission recognizes the family is more important than any other relationship. Submission celebrates being a woman, lifting a woman up and celebrates her being feminine.
If you are a wife who chooses the submission of the first paragraph, you choose to be abusive and abrasive to your husband and children. The trauma you experienced is repeated in the lives of your children. You said, no one will traumatize me again including your husband and children so you attack and destroy them. Your goal should have been to say, no one will traumatize my husband and child and you would have been the wife of the second paragraph. By submitting instead of confronting, you save your children from being destroyed for generations.